Episode 24: Bees!

Top of the show 

Welcome everyone and thank you for joining us. This is valid arguments. A show about three Phallicious dudes talking about phallic symbols. I’m Jeremy Horton, and Today were going to be talking about Bees! We will also be arguing about eggs and possibly chickens, and we’ll explore our fight or flight responses. Joining me today is Mr. Milo Mordhorst on my right. (Milo intro). And Mr. Joel Barkley on my left. (Joel intro). Thank you both, now I will get into the questions in a minute, but first let’s have a word from our sponsor. 

Questions I will ask: 

  • how did this start? In 2006 there was a hubbub about a bunch of bees disappearing. A false bill of goods was sold to us. the pollination activity from bees is worth about $20 billion a year. But there is a study by the national academy of scientist’s blah blah blah, that says that non bees pollinate as much as bees can. I’m sure your wondering right now what other insects could possibly pollinate? Luckily, I have a list flies, beetles, moths, butterflies, wasps, ants, birds, and bats, and plenty of others. So why do I care about the bees?! Why shouldn’t I say fuck bees all together?! 
  •  Most Beekeepers and bee advocates would have you believe not only that bees are the only pollinators in the world, but that honeys are bees are the most important/only bee in existence. Luckily there’s someone like me spittin truth about what’s really goin on. There’s tons of bees! There’s almost 4,000 types of bees, and all of them together only make up about 30% of our actual pollinators. and when it comes to honey bees, they aren’t even that important. The only reason they’re even going extinct is because those dipshits in california can’t get enough almonds! So you answer me this, WHO NEEDS THAT MANY ALMONDS!? 
  • Palette cleanser/segment – Should all drugs be legalized? 
  •  Bees are die from a combination of factors. Currently bees are dying out from varroa mites, new diseases, inadequate nutrition, and as I’ve said, almonds. Currently the loss rate has steadily declined since the 2008 crisis and many countries even show a net positive depending on the year. So my next question. At what point do we start comparing bee keepers complaining about dead bees to hellfire preachers with cardboard signs, yelling on the street about how the end is near? 
  •  Let’s talk about honey. Honey is being adulterated! In 2013  US customs charged Five people and two honey-processing companies with dumping honey imports from China, including some that were (their words) adulterated. They were adulterated specifically with the antibiotic chloramphenicol in an operation dubbed Project Honeygate. Chloraphenicol is used to treat meningitis, plague, cholera, and typhoid fever. This was technically the largest food fraud case in history at the time. So why don’t I give a shit about the largest food fraud case in history? 
  •  Palette cleanser/segment – Should the death penalty be abolished? 
  •  .One of the biggest things that piss me off about honey bees when people talk about saving them is the glaring fact that they are not from our ecosystem. Settlers brought them here right before slaughtering countless natives. I think my question is obvious at this point. Why did the early colonizers like almonds so much? 
  •  .We all know that bees die from a number of factors, some human, some not. My next question is about pesticides. In may 2019 as an effort to please hippies, the EPA banned several neonicotinoids that have been proven harmful to bees. It was touted as a big win for both growers and beekeepers alike. In July of 2019 the EPA then canceled their study of decline of bee populations and approved a chemical that is potentially harmful to bees. So it seems the government doesn’t give a shit about bees. Why should I?  
  •  Palette cleanser/segment –  
  • .How do we solve this thing? 

Argument for: 

  • Bees are people too!  
  • Bees are people too! 
  • Bees are people too! 
  • Bees are people too! 
  • Bees are people too! 
  • Bees are people too! 

Sources: 

  •  

Key groups: 

Key people: 

Key Movies:  

  •  Burts buzz 
  •  Queen of the sun 
  •  The last bee keeper 
  • The modest Bee keeper 

Argument Against 

  • Fuck Bees bro! 
  • Fuck Bees bro! 
  • Fuck Bees bro! 
  • Fuck Bees bro! 
  • Fuck Bees bro! 
  • Fuck Bees bro!  

Sources: 

Key people: 

  • Dave Goulson 
  • Paige Embry 
  • Mace Vaughn 
  •   

Key groups: 

Key Movies: 

  • More than Honey  
  •  Vanishing of the bees 
  •  Colony 
  •  Silence of the Bees 

Outro: *summarize Joel and Milo end arguments* I think that both sides have………………Valid Arguments. Tonight’s winner had this to say. The only thing I’m afraid of is bees. I don’t like bees. I’m allergic to them. Kobe Bryant, ladies and gentleman. If you are for Bees then I suggest you get in touch with Greenpeace or Bee culture magazine to see how you can help out. If you want bees outlawed entirely, then find your nearest beekeeper and show them this podcast.  If you decide to do nothing, then at the very least, keep arguing and talking about it. Because the only way we solve any controversial issue, is to argue about it. 

I’d like to thank you all for joining us, and thanks milo and Joel for your thoughts on the subject. If you want YOUR voice counted amongst those that argue, then get at us on social media @argumentsvalid on twitter and valid.arguments on Instagram, or if you think social media is just as evil as people who won’t stop bitching about bees, please feel free to call and leave us a voicemail, the number is on the website, Validarguments.org. And if you like the show please leave us a rating and review, and tell your friends to argue with us too. and please join us next week for more arguments for you. We hope to disagree with you soon. 

Honey Bees are not native to North America. They were imported by colonists in the 17th century. 

Bees flap their wings over 12000 times a minute

Leave a Reply